Feeling blue

I'm feeling down today. I love my weekends, now that I have the play, but the weekdays are another story. I'm just not sure what to do with myself. I know I should get a roomate, but I don't have the energy to look for anyone right now. And where would I start? Maybe I'll make a commitment to do that next week. Maybe I just need to feel what I'm feeling and it will pass... And today I'm feeling blue.

Opening Night!

Dress rehearsal was a disaster. But they said that a bad dress rehearsal means a great show. And it's true! Oh, it was such an amazing experience. I love this show. I love being on stage. The show is amazing! And...we got a standing ovation! This really is my true calling. Quitting my day job was the best thing I ever did. And if I ever forget that all I have to do is think about tonight: When those lights lits me up, out there in my costume, singing my heart out, along-side my talented fellow actors, nothing could be more right! sigh...

OH, and guess what else?! I didn't realize this, but this is equity-waiver. What does that mean, you ask? I am getting paid!!!!! It's not alot ($10/performance) but it's something! I'm a working actress. I'm doin' it! I livin' the dream!

And the good news is that this show runs indefinitely! Wooooooooooooooooo!

Still depressed.

Feeling depressed again today.
P.S. It's day 17 of being unemployed.

Dress Rehearsal

The big day is almost here! My show is so neat. It's called "Hell is Here" The Musical. It's a moving and philosophical story about teens dealing with drug abuse and suicide. Sammy did a really fantastic job directing it. I'm in a scene with God. Ha ha. This photo is one of my fellow performers, Fred. He's pretty cute, don't ya think? (wink wink!) It's been very fun, and I CAN'T WAIT for tomorrow night! We have our first "preview" performance. And then the show OPENS ON THURSDAY!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

What was I thinking?

This morning I told my dad about the play. I don't know why I did that. Why did I do that? I should know better. He just doesn't understand what I'm going through. I'm so upset. Why does it only seem important to him if I'm getting paid?! I'm doing what I LOVE. I'm doing what I was born to do! He doesn't even know I quit my job yet. Thank God I haven't told him yet. I'm going to wait until I've made it as an actor with a steady pay check... I know he means well, but I don't want to hear his fears about my decision. I just need to be around positive people who can support my choices now... This is the hardest thing I've ever done!

angels reaction

Okay this happened before, and it's really been bothering me. I belong to this women's group called THE ANGELS.

When I told them they didn't seem overly happy for me.

Why I Love My TV

1. It's always there when I need it.
2. It's entertaining: It makes me laugh, cry and keeps me informed.
3. It's diverse.
4. It's inexpensive
5. It teaches me my craft
6. It gives me things to talk about with other people.
7. It's always on time.
8. It doesn't care how I'm dressed or what I look like.
9. It makes me feel good.
10. I can see my future in it.

Day #11

Still depressed... WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE?

Day #9

Here it is. Day 9 of being unemployed. I'm feeling down today. I had a few days of being really pumped. But now I'm depressed again. I have this precious gift of time, and don't want to waste a single moment of it! The problem is I'm not exactly sure what to do.

The Budget

OK... So here is my beginning balance: $9,011.62.
This is all the money I have in the world. Bare bones (with no extra comforts) it costs me somewhere around $2000/month to live. So I have about 4.5 months until I'm completely out of money. NOTE: I also have $7,000 worth of credit cards, but I really really don't want to go into debt. That would be bad. So forget that...

IDEAS TO MAKE MONEY LAST LONGER:

1. Get a roommate

2. Get a part-time job (but not until you have to... since it takes away from the main goal. OR get a job in the entertainment industry where I can meet people who'd give me an acting job!) Maybe...

3. Sell the car, and start riding a bike. (Good in theory, especially since it helps the environment, but not practical in terms of getting to auditions)

4. Get rid of home phone and just use my cell phone.

5. Book an acting gig! (Woooooooooo!)

6. Sell old corporate clothes.

7. Sell anything I no longer need. (Good one!)

8. Get ads for this Blog page.

9. Cancel the cable. (Can't really do that. Need the cable to study my craft.)

10. Find a rich person who has nothing better to do with their money than give it to me! (Might be a tough one.)

I feel much better now that I have a plan!

Day #5

Not sure what to do with myself today. Feeling very low energy. I need to do something. --Think I need some sort of a game plan... Maybe I'll take a nap first.

What will I do now?

Feeling depressed. Not really sure what to do with myself. Today is day #3 of being unemployed. I've been sitting home watching TV for 3 days. What have I done?

I got a part in a play!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! I GOT A PART IN A PLAY!
Actually it's a musical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The name of the play is called "Hell is Here: The Musical". So I'll get to sing too! It's really happening!

Over Christmas I watched this DVD called "The Secret" and I really connected with it. It's all about the laws of attraction. Well it's already working! I'm putting all of my intentions into this, and it's manifesting. Ha! Woooooooooooooooooo!

I think I'll treat myself to an ice cream to celebrate! NO! I must be good! I'm a full-time actress now and have to watch my figure. Well, I guess I can start that tomorrow. :)

My last day of work

This is it. This is it. This is it. My last day.

In eight hours my life will change forever!

It's really here. It's really happening! They're having a little "goodbye cake for me at lunch, and then... I'm not coming back on Monday!

This is the last time I'll ever see this cubby. It's the last time I'll walk down this hallway! Goodbye Telephone. Goodbye coat rack. Goodbye dreary job I hate. You've been good to me. But now it's finally time to say Goodbye old life. And hello Audrey!

exit... stage right.

My 2010 Resolutions

1. Eat more salads
2. Lose 10 pounds
3. Get an acting job
4. Get contact lenses
5. Be more happy and have more fun!
6. Look for the good in people
7. Study my craft
8. Get an agent
9. Get headshots
10. Buy a new terrarium for my turtle

Bringing in the New Year with a Bang